Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
