I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just googled if crying burns calories
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
