I want to stick my p in your. b.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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