I wish i was in the wii world.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
