maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
