I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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