so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
