I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
smell my finger.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize