it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
