Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
