OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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