Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
