He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
