My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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