I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
