i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
