so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize