NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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