I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Of course I have a pirate flag
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
