I feel great
I just peed on a car
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
