Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
