Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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