The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
