and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize