I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
