Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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