So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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