I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
