What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
