I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
someone owes me an orgasm
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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