Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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