when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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