So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
