no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
