His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
