There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
