just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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