the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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