TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
