I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
