Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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