My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
