spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fill condoms, not promises.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
