ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
