i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
