I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
