Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
