K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
