i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
