I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn victory sex feels great
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
