So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
