Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
