She's JV to your varsity
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
