Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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