is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
