Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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