he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
