So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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