Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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