Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
